This was a requested blog post idea but it’s a really good one and I think I’m going to make it into a series, shoutouts to Julia – thank you and I miss you a lot.
Just a disclaimer, this blog post may cause anxiety and a mental breakdown because that’s how I feel writing this. Please don’t hold me liable, but we can cry together so don’t worry. Also, if you try to attack me with facts in person that’ll freak me out I will run away from you. Lastly, I’m going to be vuLnErAble, and share stuff so let’s hope this doesn’t haunt me later.
Man, when I was younger I thought I would have a brand new car at the age of 16, living in a nice condo by myself in some city like NYC or Toronto or LA by the age of 21, and married by 25.
In reality, adult life is so different and awkward. Like when does “adult life” really begin, when you’re in university or when you graduate? When you’e officially 18? What even is being an adult? When you move out? Have a child? When does it start?! When I look at myself, my friends, acquaintances, and just people my age on social media or on the news – it’s just straight up crazy to see how different adult life can be for everyone.
How is it that some of my acquaintances are getting married next year and I’m stressed about which new notebook I’m going to use next (but congrats to y’all I’m happy for you guys). Also, how are some of my friends in some next-level Master’s program or in law school, when it just feels like yesterday I was 17 and unsure of the future. I feel like every once in awhile, I get caught up in situations where I’m chatting with people and I find out that my mom’s friend’s son’s cousin who is younger than me has a job lined up at a Fortune 500 company and he hasn’t even graduated but he’s getting paid 6 figures…hmmm, cool cool cool, yeah that’s fine 🙂 *continues to sweat nervously, tries not to cry, and finishes eating the Oreo I was dipping into my milk like a child*
“Where’s the ___?” (husband/career/child)
Thankfully, nobody’s said “where’s the child?” to me…yet (oh but they will haha gotta love the patriarchy). Anyway, I’ve recently graduated and you know it’s the strangest thing. Several people have told me something along the lines of, “now that you’re done school, you can focus on getting a husband” and I really didn’t know how to respond. Like a part of me really wonders if people are saying the same thing to men my age – which they probably aren’t – and the other part of me really doesn’t know how to respond other than smiling and nodding. The fact that me graduating with a degree is something to be overshadowed by marriage really baffles my mind. (However, this really sheds light on who not to invite to my future wedding so HA! suck on that).
People also love asking in a really confused manner, “so what…are you doing now?” And this question really amuses me now because if I don’t respond “correctly” it’ll just confuse them more. For instance, think of which response is the best: A) “I’m currently looking for work” or B) “I’m working at __”. or C) “I’m figuring out what I want to do but I’m actually reconsidering this whole having one career for the rest of your life thing. And I really think about just moving to a whole new country and starting over.” Perhaps I’m getting really passive aggressive here and you’re right, I am. Because I’m tired of being an adult. And I know I’ve only just begun but this is awful.
I understand that it’s the norm to have a steady, well-paying job or internship lined up for you a whole year before you graduate or right after you graduate but I don’t. And I think that’s fine. I honestly do not regret graduating a semester later (so not in 4 years but like in 4 + a semester) to study abroad. I also don’t regret traveling a lot this past year. You know, I hate to be that person but I’m going to be lol. Traveling really opened my eyes to different cultures, different people, and just new experiences. I think if I were to be sucked into a job right after I graduated I’d frankly be miserable because I needed a break. (I’m just saying for myself so please don’t attack me if you did work right after graduating). I just think in general, it’s okay to not have your entire life mapped out. Things will work out and you don’t need to stress yourself too much over it.
Shmoney, Dollar Bills, the COIN
Also, adult life is is just crazy expensive. Why the heck did nobODY mention this when I was a child? I wish there were budgeting classes in elementary and high school. I’m about to go off in this section so tldr: money doesn’t come easy, Toronto is really expensive, uhh it’s an epidemic.
- First of all, let’s talk about food because that’s a form of survival. I paid seven dollars for a head of lettuce last week. I’m sorry, SEVEN dollars are you insane? And this was at Walmart guys this wasn’t even at some fancy farmer’s market that’s pesticide free, NO my lettuce had pesticides!
- Also! Why are there no cheap eats in Toronto. Like I’m sure there’s some but why do you have to spend at least $10 on one meal. It’s outrageous. Most of my budget goes towards eating by the way so I’m very upset about this.
- Second of all, I like listening to music as does any sane human being. And Spotify or Apple premium is ten dollars per month, that’s just mad. My cheap Asian self cannot understand streaming things legally, my family got Netflix only last year y’all, we be on that illegal streaming quality since ’89. Yes, I support artists and actors legally now (unless it’s not on Netflix then…đź‘€ sorry).
- You want to go on vacation? Well the Canadian dollar is lower than my standards so good luck with the conversion rate.
- It is so cold in Canada/Toronto -yes I know it’s nothing compared to other provinces but I’m Torontonian and think everything is about me so hush- so you have to spend extra money on jackets, coats, scarves, mittens, boots, hats, the whole shabang. Oh you want like a real winter coat that’ll be anywhere between $200-1,500 plus TAX UGH, don’t get me started on tax in Canada. After travelling to countries that do not have tax or have 5% tax rates, I’m just stunned coming back.
- Let’s talk living: you want to buy a house in Toronto? AHahaha, that’s funny. But seriously, rent is incredibly high like literally $1,000+ per month. If you want to know why well, this article does a brief summary. Nobody my age can afford a house let alone rent unless you have roommates, it’s ridiculous.
- Alcohol is expensive here too so you can’t even drown yourself in liquor – not that I recommend this because it’s not healthy psychologically or physically, please be safe y’all
- Let’s not even get started on the rising TTC, YRT, GoBus fares 🙂 because it’s driving me nuts
- So let’s say you have a minimum wage paying job. Good luck. You may need another part-time job to pay for everything. If you have a career and a yearly salary well congratulations. Do you have dental? Insurance? What about a retirement plan? Yeah, I know it’s stressful let’s not talk about it but say we did ha…ha… 🙂 I told you this post was going to be stress and anxiety-inducing I’m sorry again
- So you online shop huh, yeah I get it. But our taxes and our shipping costs make things not worthwhile anymore for me. Plus, why do things take forever to come to Canada I just don’t get it y’all.
On the Bright Side
I know I sounded really angry for like the entirety of this post…which I am to a certain extent, that doesn’t mean I’m not happy. I think looking back on my life the past few months, there’s a ton of things that I’m really grateful for like being able to travel, having strong friendships with people who I care about a lot, being done school (for now), having free time on my hands, I think having better mental health than before, and having a supportive family. I think the realities of “being an adult” should be talked about at a younger age though. Also, as an adult you can do a lot of things like:
- buying what you want, when you want (to a certain degree)
- baking cookies at 4 am if you wanted to
- go on a roadtrip
- book a flight and just bolt (after requesting for a vacation from work)
- you don’t have any homework to do
- you can drink legally lol
- go to therapy
- or buy a car
- own a pet!!!!
- I’m running out of things to write about on this list
- watch what you want on Netflix
- make your OWN rules
- throw a party I guess (but you gotta clean up after haha fun)
Honestly adult life is fun and not that bad (I think). I’m not really sure how to end this one other than cheers, hope you read my next one!
Gloria's Scribbles and Thoughts 